Lulu

Next Please

The brakes in the car sound and feel strange so we take the car to a brake specialist in the industrial area of Castle Hill. While we wait for the brake guy to do his thing, Teena goes off to look at a craft shop and I find a little café called “Next Please”. Let’s establish the context here folks, “Next Please” is a café in an industrial park. It can best be described as a variation on the “Truck Stop” theme, no bad thing. The kind of place where “Large thanks” is the standard response to “How would you like your steak”.

The food is a variation on three central themes; the hamburger, bacon n eggs and the steak sandwich. Café latte and cappuccinos are on the menu if you’re game enough to ask for one. I follow the lead of the patron before me “coffee, white, strong, no sugar and a ‘Stanley’s breakfast’ thanks love”. I’ll have the same thanks……..love.

The coffee is, as I had ordered; white, strong, no sugar and thank god, it’s hot. The “Stanley’s breakfast” passes each parameter of my breakfast analysis, is it good, is it huge, do I have to ask for BBQ sauce. Yes and yes and no.

My wife arrives, to my horror, she orders a low-fat, decaffeinated cappuccino….sweet Jesus, this is going to be interesting. The waitress is momentarily shaken, her eyes dart around the room, she’s searching for words, our eyes meet, there is understanding, there is a connection, it’s almost primordial, I smile slightly, sympathy and understanding are conveyed.

“We don’t have much call for decaffeinated coffee love, or low fat milk, I could water down the milk for you”, I try not to laugh, caffeine and fat are sworn enemies of pregnant women. I flash to a scene from a movie called “Doing time for Patsy Cline”. Scene: An outback coffee shop, “coffee thanks love”, “sorry, we’re out of coffee, we had a run on it”.

If you’re looking for ambience, décor, low-fat decaffeinated cappuccinos, ricotta pancakes with honey comb butter and you’ve got lots of cash and time….go to “Bill’s 2” in Surry Hills. “Next Please” is a real Aussie café, everything about it shouts honesty, the coffee is good, the food, though plain, is good and you get lots of it.

The brake guy says “I can’t find anything wrong with your brakes”,….What do I owe you, says I, “Nothing mate, there’s nothing to fix”. Honesty, folks, is all that it’s cracked up to be.
BTW, If you're looking for a good movie, check out "In my fathers den" a wonderful movie from New Zealand. It is a rare gem, the like of which I have not seen in many moons. Bye Bye

You can find my review and quite a few others at http://www.cafegeek.com

Rookies bar/coffee shop

Korte Leidsedwarsstraat 145-147
Amsterdam (just off the Leidseplein)

I have to tell you, I didn’t seek out Rookies for the coffee, well Duh!! Okay folks give me a break here, I come from Australia, our laws relating to marijuana consumption aren’t exactly enlightened. I ask the guy behind the bar for the ghanja menu, it’s extensive and wondrous. I opt for pre-rolled to save time pissing around with papers or pipes. One of the nice things about Rookies is that you can get pre-rolled without the evil weed (tobacco). The bar guy presents me with two professionally rolled joints in plastic tubes, nice. As Denis Leary said, Happiness comes in small spurts folks.

I order a glass of wine. The parameters of my wine analysis are as follows; it’s red, it’s white, it’s sparkling, it’s not sparkling, I like it, I hate it. Well here goes, it’s red, it’s not sparkling, I like it.

I’m now sitting at one of the few outside tables, I’ve consumed the wine and about five tokes, so, now I’m stoned, not immaculate mind you, but getting there. The coffee I ordered has been promptly delivered, or did I go to the bar to get it. Anyway, it’s hot, for me, that’s important. If you’re going to make me a coffee, even if it’s a bad coffee, at least let it be hot. I’m sick of being presented with luke warm, piss weak, beige colored liquid that tastes like its emerged from an ash pit rather than the skilled and loving hands of an espresso master, “Your coffee sir”….Fuck off.

Lately, I’ve been willing to suspend my disbelief for only two things, Star Trek and the works of Sara Douglass, but I digress. My coffee tastes strong, it’s got to be strong, not necessarily Turkish strong but strong enough for my taste buds to let my brain know that I am indeed, in the presence of coffee and lots of caffeine. Decaffeinated coffee, I don’t think so.

Okay, it’s hot, its strong, it’s doesn’t taste bitter or burnt and it has a silky smooth texture. I’m happy, but does the coffee shop have WiFi, to be honest, I don’t know, but then, I don’t give a toss, it’s got interesting people, it’s got ambience, it’s got coffee, it’s got alcohol, it’s got food, it’s got Ghanja and it’s in Amsterdam, what more do you want, yeah okay, WiFi.

If you’re in Amsterdam and you’re looking for a good coffee shop, try Rookies, you just might find yourself having an enjoyable time, I did.

You can find my review and quite a few others at http://www.cafegeek.com